The sun is shining, not a cloud in the sky. The wind is gently blowing to ward off the heat of a Texas sun. My boy is smiling, playing, and exploring a new-found world. Life is simple. Life is full. Life is complete. I love watching his wondrous eyes. He picks up a pine cone and tries to eat it. I stop him, although I'm sure we've all done this at some point in our lives Life is beautiful Life is warm Life is delightful My sweet Peter Pan,  Please never grow up 

Don't get me wrong, I have a good life. I have a loving fiance and a healthy bright-eyed baby. None the less, I still have my struggles. I struggle with motivation for completing my degree. Sometimes I wish I could stay home and be one of those fun stay at home moms that takes their young kids out to do activities and explore. Then it hits me, but with what money or friends? My only close mom friend lives miles away. I live in Texas and she lives in North Dakota. It is SO HARD finding a mom friend that you can still have differences with but neither of you really cares what they are. We formed our friendship before we were pregnant before she was married and before I was engaged. I was in her wedding and she will be in mine. I was the first person she told when she found out she was pregnant and when I found out I was pregnant, she was the first person I told. We're so crazy, we talked about finding a nice mountain in Colorado and building our houses next to each other. Our s...

To say the least, I am so ready for spring break.  I'm already envisioning the deep cleaning, packing, and relaxation I'll hopefully get done. I also am in desperate need of a break from being a Mom. My 11 month old is teething, so he is needing me more than usual. Poor baby is in pain. However, I am mentally exhausted. I am so tired of school, pumping, cleaning, and feeling sick. A couple of weeks ago my baby was sick with a cold, double ear infection and he was teething. At first, I knew he was sick with a cold, after all, I wasn't getting much sleep because of it. That Thursday, we couldn't keep his temperature down, I was so worried. I took off the school day, called his PED and brought him in. Thank goodness for modern medicine and Peds that are family friends. I don't think I could afford a trip to the ER. Last week, my fiance's mom, who watches the baby frequently, was sick. I ended up missing my night class both weeks for my baby being sick, and then b...

Today, I had an experience.  Today, I was challenged and moved to be courageous . Today, I was influenced to do something I felt in my core, was wrong Today, I questioned the intentions of someone above me, someone I look up too Today, I took the opportunity to stand my ground for the good of someone else Today, I realized how influential others can be on a life that's not their own Today, I thought about my influence and realized how important it was on this young soul Today, I put their needs above my own  Today, I realized the right , the wrong , and the grey , no matter how big or small , are impactful and scarring Today, I'm proud of myself because I lived my truth

I'm hiding. Yogurt in on hand, spoon in the other.  STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! I hear the door to my room creak open. Maybe if I hide under the covers I won't be noticed. My breathing   s l o w s  and my eyes close. I feel the covers being tugged away.  I hold on as tight as I can. Then the fear overwhelms me. I let go.  I lay there, uncovered, but clothed in irresolution. All I wanted was to eat my yogurt. The shrill cries and outreaching arms have me trembling. I throw a teether. Unsuccessful. Its thrown back. I offer a breastmilk pop. He takes it. It seems to calm the beast. Or so I thought. The beast lifts the breastmilk pop high. He quickly and repeatedly swings it towards the ground. Every blow connecting to the floor and pieces fly, it is hailing frozen milk. I am overcome with defeat. The monster's face is streaming with tears and my heart softens. Fear retreats. Frustration subdued. I am overrun with compassion and...

This is my first time doing the SOL challenge, hence the cherry icon (; I hope you have a sense of humor. If not, I probably wouldn't keep reading. My life is raw , sometimes uneventful, and on the more eventful moments, I drink enough wine to wonder if I'm a borderline alcoholic. Just kidding! I'm definitely not, I'm okay, I promise! In a world where I constantly feel the pressure of upholding a sense of professionalism and always trying to be the "bigger person" (It's pretty difficult when I'm barely 5'1) it's nice having a place to unwind and be free of judgment , expectations, or criticism . I grew up in a household that held extreme expectations for me, not sure how my other siblings got out of it. But being the oldest and being a, dare I say it, preachers daughter, it was exhausting .  In this fast-paced world that doesn't seem equipped with an emergency brake, I'm hoping to find peace in the madness .  I guess this is my wa...